Tuesday

Difficulty with Mom

Do you remember the fake myspace a mother created to terrorize a girl pretending she is a boy who liked her? My own mother created a fake myspace in order to try to control me, knock me down emotionally, and over the years, she abused me emotionally.
I walked away several years ago never to see them again and made peace with my past. I found a way to forgive her for 40 plus years of lies. She is mentally ill and for my own sake both spiritually and mentally, I stay away. I have found a peace that defies all in God's arms. He protected me when I let go and let Him fight my battles for me.

There are still some issues that come occasionally, but the majority of it is gone. I believe anger has no place in my life. I believe anger at another person makes you a prisoner and not them. Forgivness doesn't mean reconciliation, but it does mean leaving it with God. I don't believe in acting the victim and I believe in accountability. I owned up to some things I did to contribute to the chaos she caused in the family, apologized to the people I hurt, and now have a great relationship with the people she hurt and I hurt. I haven't seen my mother in years nor my stepfather.

Trust God in EVERYTHING. He'll help you grow in your situation.
at 6:00 AM
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4 comments:

Louise said...

your one line " Forgivness doesn't mean reconciliation, " knocked me out. I have had a hard time forgiving with the thought that I would have to let this person back in my life if I did. I know I can't do that. We have never had a close loving relationship. Never. But I think I can give it to God. But is that really dealing with the issues I have. Like my anger and bitterness and resentment. But for the first time I think I have a place to start. Thank you.

October 7, 2009 9:05 AM
Karen Rabbitt said...

Louise,
Re: dealing with your anger, bitterness, resentment...You might like to read my post on Family Secrets about my book Trading Fathers. It's my story of working through those feelings, also without much reconciliation with my father, the abuser.

Here's a link:
http://blog.myfamilysecrets.org/search/label/Trading%20Fathers%20by%20Karen%20Rabbitt

November 12, 2009 9:32 AM
Anonymous said...

Louise,

Thank you for your reply to my "family secret." My counciler was very helpful. He kept asking me to repeat, "They are unhealthy for me." The one thing I learned about my father's abandonment in the past is how anger can destroy your life. Give it to God and work through that anger. You do not have to have a relationship with that person, but for your sake, you need to forgive them. I liked the book, Sheila Walsh, The Heartache No One Sees. She wrote, "Pray for them, even if your clenching your teeth through the prayer; eventually you'll stop clenching your teeth and mean it." My heart aches for you. My experience has been hell. My childhood a mass of confusion. Grieve. Let it out. Talk to someone. And let it go. Give it to God. He loves you. You are dear to Him and you have so much to offer once you can get through this. I'll remember you in my prayers.

December 3, 2009 5:18 PM
Anonymous said...

And thank you, Karen, I will check out your blog.

December 3, 2009 5:19 PM

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