Divorce, brother imprisoned

My parents divorced before my young brothers and I hit the teenage years.

Not long after, one brother got into a fight and brought along the gun from my parents' bedroom.

We're not sure what happened (accident?) but the other kid got shot and died! I'm thankful that I didn't end up in prison as well, but I have father wounds that are still healing (slowly, but surely).

I'm hanging in there for Jesus to give me complete freedom as I continue to fight with the help of my fantastic wife.

Shame seems to be at the bottom of my view of myself and my problems believing God is all that I know He is.