FROM ANONYMOUS: (in response to this post)
I'd have to agree that, as one that had been sexually abused, hearing from the abuser asking for forgiveness would mean so much. I still question my memories but in my heart of hearts, I know what happened. I don't know if it is because one of the perpetrators ( there were more than one) was my dad. It goes so against the grain of what a normal father/daughter relationship should be.
My dad was upstanding in so many other ways. I also think I suffer because my feelings were always minimized and if I spoke up about what was troubling me...I was told I was too sensitive. I still struggle trying to reconcile that my sensitivity is a gift and God gave it to me to help comfort and be there for others. When you are told that you are "making a big deal out of nothing" ( about everything) it has been hard to stand firm and lay the responsibility for good with my father, especially ( and other perpetrators). I still struggle with that. If I couldv'e heard words of admitting blame...I just think it would help.
My dad has passed away and the others I just don't know.
One big thing though is that I agree that you also should seek some wise counsel before you approach this with those you abused. Make sure it is a Christain who works with the sexually abused and you can then get your head straight about how to proceed and in the process that you would also get healing for your abuse. ( through this confession and through your own pain as a victim) I know those who are abused can very well abuse. I speak from experience as I was tempted to abuse my own children. I don't take any credit for not doing it, it was God's grace...I just know I was very capable to do it so I cannot sit in any judgment.
Please get all the help you need. God would want that for you and you deserve it.
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1 comments:
I would love to hear an apology or be asked to forgive my abusers. But that will never happen. My grandfather is dead. My mom doesn't see that she ever did anything wrong. I've tried imagining what would happen if I ever saw her again and told her I forgive her and it's not a pretty image. I could see her smacking me for being disrespectful and then to proceed to tell me I should be asking for forgiveness not the other way around.
Receiving an apology from those that knew about the abuses but did nothing to protect me would be nice too but there again I know I will never get that.
I too pray that those who have abused will find the strength to apologize and ask for forgiveness.
I also pray that those who are abuse survivors can find a way to forgiven even if you don't receive an apology. Life without forgiving those that hurt you is more difficult because you can't let go of the hurt, anger, pain. Forgiving is something that you might have to do over and over again, I do, but doing so makes my life happier. Always remember that we should forgive because God forgives us.
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