From ANONYMOUS:
My 2nd husband fell in love with my daughter from 1st marriage.
We divorced. He lives with her- everyone (even my other children) believes they are father and daughter.
Its so sick. She was 10 when we married. She is 35 now. Her life is ruined. No dating, no children. Total guilt. He planned the abuse for years but didn't act on it until she was 18.
Pray for my daughter.
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About Me
- Mary DeMuth
- I'm a girl who met Jesus at fifteen and have followed Him ever since. I'm in love with my husband, dedicated to my children, and devoted to the craft of writing redemptive prose.
Daisy Chain Chapter 1
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2 comments:
I can't imagine being in your situation, and I'm sorry. But as I pray for wisdom in how to respond to you I have to say I think its time you stand up and be bold and live your own life in the truth. Out loud and in the truth, not in silence and shame and hurt.
You've been wronged. You're child has been wronged. But something you said changes the present day circumstances....at least in my head. And this is totally from an outside, uninvolved, first hand, very limited knowledge of the situation, observation. And its just that--an observation.
You said she's now 35 AND he didn't make his move until she was 18. Again, I stress, you have been wronged. So has she. But she was an adult, and is an adult and furthermore it has been nearly 18 years for either or both of them to change their mind.
I encourage YOU to start living in the truth. Don't hide from your oter children that they are living as more than parent and child. They are having an adult relationship. The truth of that should bring accountablity to them for their actions and decisions, and you are NOT responsbile to protect, excuse, lie, pretend that its okay. Her siblings knowledge of the TRUTH should serve as a sword of truth to them, that it might pierce through the lie.
I can only imagine that you as her mom have to deal with this on the level of him as a predator of your child, but this seems to be consensual for some time now, it must also be delt with as if she is the other woman, as you were his second wife. Your daughter very likely views herself as his wife now (even if not legally). Try to put yourself in her shoes from that perspective, to understand her mental and emotional state, even if she got there by less than desirable means. It may help you to understand her; after all she is still your daughter.
But I encourage you to treat it and act in truth and in a manner that is consistent with the life they have chosen over the last 18 years. Neither of them are children.
Most importantly, choose forgiveness, and love. Seek to restore your relationship to your daughter. It will require forgiveness to your ex-husband as well. It certainly doesn't mean you can't and shouldn't set safe and healthy boundaries....you should. But nothing will get healed without love, forgiveness, and truth.
Blessings.
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