Advice for those escaping abusive marriages

Anonymous posted on this blog post some good advice. Here's what she wrote:

My advice is to take your girls and get out. Call the national domestic abuse hotline for help with finding a place to live, where to go, how to feed your kids, etc. There is a LOT of help out there for us. I know how hard it is, but it only gets worse. You want to stay alive and be there for your kids.

You might be in shock or denial, but think of your kids. You probably want to "break the cycle of abuse." You don't want your lovely daughters to think it is okay for daddy to hit mommy and talk that way to her...nor for them to grow up and find someone like that. You do not deserve how you are being treated, and it is not right. He is not going to change on his own.

What advice would you give your daughter if she were grown up and married to a man like your husband? I hope that I am not harsh. I don't mean to be. I know how hard it is to be in your situation, but you have to get out!

Take your kids with you. Get far away. Do you have family or friends you can stay with? You could call Legal Aide to talk to a free lawyer in your area for advice. They do not take your husband's income level, just yours to help you with a free lawyer. But there's lots of free advice they can give too if you are working and making a lot of money and don't qualify for a free lawyer.

I know it is scary. God is carrying you right now. Draw near to Him. He won't let you down. Don't be bitter because of your sitation. You DO have a choice and you can get out. Find out legally what you can do to protect your kids from him legally and don't let him know you are leaving. Make plans and take along your kid's documents like original birth certificates, social security numbers, immunization records, etc. Your kids probably know what's going on and they need you to help them and keep them safe.

I am sorry for your situation. I had to leave this past summer with my kids. God has really pulled through for me. There is a LOT of help out there through department of human services. It's important to get help and safety for your kids. It doesn't stop on it's own. Leaving my husband brought about some changes in him of getting on medicine and in therapy and appreciating the kids more and spending more quality time with them.

Don't let him know. Plan ahead, gather your stuff and get out. Don't tell your girls until you are out and safe. Or if you are hit, call the cops and file a report. Police documentation is important for protecting your kids later on. I know it is so hard to do. But you can still protect them. You said you want to protect them at any cost. It is a high cost, but it is necessary. Please do protect them.

You are not helpless. In a way, your kids are. They need you. It is better on the other side away from the abusive situation. There is hope. After 4 months, I started to be able to think more clearly and all his thoughts and cruel comments weren't always in my mind. I have a full time job, a place to live for now (about 800 miles away near my family) and my kids are happier. They see their father for visits and even though it is hard, it is BETTER.

I am still healing. God is faithful. These are my passionate thoughts on this subject matter. I know it's cold reality, but these are some things that I heard and I own, and it helped me to be safe. I hope they help you too. May God protect you and your girls. Thanks for reaching out and posting this. You are not what your husband says you are. God gave you your kids and they need you.