Comments on My Family Secrets: Her Brother abused her: she suppressed it.

I was raped by my brother when I was about 10. I c...

2009-12-31T19:53:26.442-06:00

I was raped by my brother when I was about 10. I carried great pain for years until I cried and cried through a youth meeting when I was 16. A trusted friend got me to talk to him and he helped me understand that it was not my doing and was there for years to talk to me when the guilt and hate for my brother would rise up. It wasn't until I was 36 that I felt the Lord tell me to fully forgive him. I did and have no pain or guilt now. Just memories of the events. God can take away the hatefullness of the crime. My mom still doesn't know of it, but those who helped me through were lifesaviors for me. I can now see, visit and hug my brother and not feel the pain, but only because God helped me to not only forgive with words but with my heart.

I have counseled a number of women who were abused...

2009-11-09T15:11:22.851-06:00

I have counseled a number of women who were abused as children by a primary person (father, grandfather, brother) in their life. You have taken the correct first step by bringing this out in the open. Let me encourage you to find a Christian counselor who can walk through the remainder of the healing process with you. Don't try to do this alone - you need a trusted counselor.

I have witnessed women who were wounded deeply become whole and complete and healed. God will do this for you, too.

I will be praying for you!

Blessings,
Edwina

Think of your secret as a violent, non-paying tena...

2009-11-09T13:55:25.741-06:00

Think of your secret as a violent, non-paying tenant sharing your bed, your heat, your meals. Make it unwelcome and serve it the long overdue eviction notice it deserves. Where it chooses to find a home is not your responsibility. You offer room for healing to take up residence in the space now inhabited by your secret.
Your secret is ugly, and therefore no one will want to house it, but it still is not your burden to make it welcome elsewhere anymore than it is your mission to make it comfortable in your own bosom.
Rarely do people respond appropriately to exposure of dark things, and the innocent often hurt anew. That fresh pain of disappointment and continued rejection precedes healing that comes from exposing hidden dark lies to the light of the truth. Truth does set free and that freedom is not a brief nor swift occasion but a lifelong pursuit. Run to the Light.

Forgiveness of oneself and others is an act of wil...

2009-11-09T11:49:51.175-06:00

Forgiveness of oneself and others is an act of will. You may not feel true forgiveness at the time you are actively attempting to exhibit it, but the more you forgive when you don't feel like it, the more God is able to work in you. Forgiveness will eventually become a true act. God brings the power to make the act of forgiveness a true one, we just have to be willing to take the first steps toward offering amnesty. HE heals. I know this for a fact. Strength and love to you.

I think you have taken a really big step...a step ...

2009-11-09T08:44:25.069-06:00

I think you have taken a really big step...a step towards freedom. In releasing the secret, you free yourself from the bond that it has on you. I pray you will find a way to forgive yourself. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't something you asked for and it wasn't something you could stop--you were just a little girl. It wasn't something you deserved. You deserved to have your innocent childhood the way God intended it. Rest in the assurance that HE has never left you and NEVER will. He saw the pain and the hurt this caused you and HE desperately wants to heal you from that. I think in sharing it, like today, you just might start healing. Hold on to HIM no matter what--HE is the ONLY one who can heal you!